Friday, April 13, 2012


(or  this post could be called "Lessons in God's Faithfulness," but that's only if I decide to be a good student.)

I'm having a hard time focusing on God's faithfulness right now. It's supposed to be my theme for the year, but I haven't spent much time dwelling on his faithful ways.

Instead I keep worrying about what's to come or what might come. Because, you know, that's really helpful.

We recently gained a new monthly financial sponsor, and that brought our level of support up to 69%. I was feeling pretty good about that. That's only 31% more that we need, and I thought surely we could raise the rest before the baby comes. Then we would be set.

However, some things on the horizon make me think our budget is likely changing--and not in a good way. One of my renters in Mishawaka is moving out in June. And I don't know if the other one can find someone else to share the house with. I can't sell the house because it appraises for about $5-8K less than what I owe on it.

If we don't have two renters in the house, there is no way we can afford for me to visit my family in the States this summer. That thought brings instant tears. I miss them so much. Everybody was together for Easter, and I cried reading my mom's e-mail about the antics of the little cousins at the restaurant. And if I don't go this summer, I don't know when I'll see them again. Who knows when we'll be able to travel after the baby is born.

Do you see the downward spiral I get myself into?

Why is it so difficult to trust that God will faithfully provide what we need? There are so many examples of his provision in the Bible, in history, in my friends' lives, in MTM's ministry, ... and even in my own life. But it's like I get blinded to the truth of God's faithfulness by all the "what ifs".

When will I learn to let go of the what ifs and cling to the Great I AM?


  1. i'm always surprised at how 'elastic' our faith is, at how 'elastic' MY faith is. we learn to trust God as we go through a give something as we witness His faithfulness (in spite of our lack of faithfulness, often), and our faith grows. or so it seems. the next thing we know, it feels like we're starting over because our faith has snapped back to square 1.

    brit, you are strong, faithful, and inspiring. we're praying for you, and the beauty of the community of the body of Christ is that your faith isn't the only faith. we have faith that God will take care of you and Arold.

    keep it up! He who began a good work in you, will be faithful to complete it!

  2. Thanks so much for your encouragement, Nate. I feel much better after a night of sleep and some time in prayer. BUT, I really appreciate that you guys stand in the gap for me while I attend my pity party. ;)

    And someone shared Isaiah 46:4 on Facebook today. "Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am the he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you."