Our Last Sunday in Gramothe

Today was our last Sunday in Gramothe. It has rained a lot lately and the road has been getting worse and worse. There are some really big holes in the road on the way down to the riverbed, and this morning they threatened to swallow us up. There's a team of 18 people here right now, but we didn't take the truck to church. The road is just too bad. So some people walked (bless their hearts) and the rest of us rode the ATVs. I have taken Isaac on the ATVs before--always in his moby wrap--but today was scary. That road is crazy! It was a relief to get to the riverbed because there were no giant holes to swallow us up. If it wasn't our last time at church in Gramothe, I would have kept Isaac at home!

Church was really great--except for my cranky son. I listened to the sermon from the cafeteria because he was so restless/cranky/crying. I tried to keep him in the sanctuary the other parts of church, but we left a lot because he was making so much noise. Silly boy. The great parts of church were the singing time, the English sermon on following Jesus, and the part where Willem called our family up on stage. We actually were up there twice. Before the sermon Willem called us up and talked a lot about Arold and then let him say something to the church. Isaac was going crazy, so we left the stage after that. But after the sermon Willem called me back up to say something (through tears of course) to the church. It was good to say goodbye. Then the church prayed for us. Prayer send offs are one of my favorite parts of being part of a congregation. I cried the whole time, and I saw my husband wipe away tears too.

The best/hardest part of church was when everyone was dismissed and so many people made their way to Arold and me. It was like a wedding receiving line. Except I was by the door and Arold was on stage. So it was two receiving lines of one person. Rosias and Monley were some of the first people to come and hug me. They were both crying, so of course I burst into tears again. (And I had just gotten myself under control from the prayer time!) Then other students and adults in the church came to find me and bless me and Isaac before we left. It was really sweet to be told over and over again that I am loved and they will miss me. Of course I got to tell them that I love them too and God bless them. Such a perfect way to end my time in Gramothe.

Tonight Arold's family is coming over after church. It's nice to spend time with them before we go. We will miss them so much more than words can say.

Official Bittersweet Announcement

I'd like to skip this post all together in order to ignore reality, but I know I can't do that. *sigh* Here's goes.

We’re thankful for the ministry God has given us with Mountain Top Ministries. Arold has been at the school since 2007 and I've been here since 2010. We have invested in our students through English and computer classes, crochet lessons, summer VBS, and countless hours in the school yard building relationships. Nearly 20 of these young people have been baptized in the last two years. Arold has taught Sunday school classes, played on the worship team, and most recently started a gospel choir with the youth. We have both been privileged to play a part in providing life changing medical care to more than 7,000 patients through the clinic in the last two years alone. There are a lot of good things happening through the school, medical clinic, and church in Gramothe.

While we have been blessed to be a part of the ministry here, we recognize that our time with MTM has come to a close. After a lot of prayer and many sleepless nights, Arold and I have made the difficult decision to move our family to the U.S. for the next chapter of our lives. We are still passionate about empowering Haiti’s youth through education, and we hold a special place for Haitian kids in our hearts. We look forward to the day that God will move us back to Haiti. But for now, we’re preparing for an international move during the first week of June.

So, the bitter part is that we are leaving our students, our church, our first home, and Arold's family. It's definitely not going to be easy. The sweetness that helps us deal with all this bitter is that we'll be close to my family, have constant electricity, and be able to enjoy all of the conveniences that life in the US has to offer. 

Pray for us, will you?

P.S. Nothing is wrong. Yes, it is very fast timing, and we are as surprised as you are that we're moving to the States. We are confident this is where God is leading us for this phase of our lives, so as hard as it is to leave Haiti we need to be obedient to Him.

Christmas & Coffee

Christmas:

The plan was that all three of us would go to the States for three weeks during the holidays this year. However, the delays with Arold's visa mean that he's stuck in Haiti for at least another month. After much deliberation and tears (on my part), we've decided that Isaac and I will spend Christmas in Indiana without Arold. I'm really, really bummed about that part. I was looking forward to having my husband experience Christmas with my family. Christmas really isn't a big deal here (to my horror). Since his family doesn't have any traditions for this season, he just doesn't get my Christmas cheer.

So, I'm beyond excited that Isaac gets to meet his grandma and grandpa, Uncle Jason, and my entire extended family. But I'm also really bummed that we won't be spending our first Christmas as a family together. And I won't be in Haiti for our anniversary either because it's extra expensive to travel between Dec. 20th and Dec. 31st. But my husband assures me we will have lots of time to celebrate before school starts on Jan. 7th.

Coffee:
I'm bringing Haitian coffee with me. You can purchase a 10oz bag of delicious Haitian coffee for just $6. Pick up in Mishawaka and Goshen on Sunday Dec. 23rd. Or I can mail it to you on Dec. 20th, but I don't know what shipping will cost right now. Cash, check or PayPal. Leave a comment telling me how many bags you want, or e-mail me britneyLsmith (at) gmail (dot) com.

The Next Few Days

I apologize for the slow blogging the past few weeks. I have lots of things I want to share about graduation, the Philo class, some student work from the end of the year, and pictures from the last couple of weeks of school. I also have some pictures and stories from my time in the States, but I'm too busy enjoying my family and friends to write while I'm here. When I get back, I'll be able to post more pictures and stories for you to read. I have three more days to enjoy in the U.S.A. and then early on Tuesday morning I'll be off to the airport and back to my husband. (We've both decided we don't really want to do this weeks apart thing again.)

Pre-Wedding Photos

These are some of the pictures that were snapped by guests during our wedding. We're hoping to have the professional photos by the end of the week. You can click on the picture to see it in full size.

First Christmas in Haiti

This fall while I was still in the States, I would burst into tears every single time I thought about Christmas. I just couldn't fathom being away from my family on Christmas day. There are only two times I can remember anyone missing Myers family Christmas. Once when my dad went the ER on Christmas morning for chest pains and the other was when my cousin Nichole gave birth to Danicha on Christmas Eve. (Twelve years ago. How is it possible Danicha is that old?!) There's no alternating which side of the family you spend Christmas with. Everyone is there every year. Until this year when I was in Haiti.

screen shot of Smith grandparents

As much as I cried about what Christmas was not going to be this year, I really enjoyed Christmas day. I called my parents when I woke up, attended church (which was pretty awesome), and then Skyped with both the Myers family and my Smith grandparents in Missouri. Arold was even there for the second round of Skyping and got to witness his first Myers Family White Elephant. And he wasn't scarred by what he saw! (Let's just say the Myers family plays a dirty kind of White Elephant, and keep it at that.) It was awesome to be with Arold and my family all at the same time. Though, I still hope someday he can experience Myers family Christmas in person.

Goodbye 2011, Hello 2012

The last week has been a whirlwind, but I enjoyed having my family and friends in Haiti. The wedding was beautiful, the fellowship with friends and family incredible, and the unexpected blessings abundant.

AND, I'm officially married. There were days this fall I never thought the day would arrive! It was a special day, and I can't wait to see some more pictures. I'll post more about the wedding later, but here's a teaser photo of the pastor praying over us after we exchanged vows. So far it's my favorite.

Marrying Arold was the best end to 2011 I can imagine. Our first full day of married life was the best reward for a year full of patience. We're looking forward to growing closer to the Lord and each other in 2012.

Happy New Year, friends. Many blessings on you in this new year.

Thankful

I have much to be thankful for this year.

Unfortunately I don't have much time to write about it here.

I'm headed back to the land of rice and beans in just a couple of days. In the mean time I am packing my suitcases (apparently a little too well since one of them is much heavier than 50lbs... I'm having a hard time taking things out though!), and I'm also cleaning my room at my parents. I'm not sure how one person can collect so much junk in such a short time. I thought I was being intentional about not keeping things I don't need, but it turns but I just made lots of piles of junk in my bedroom. Apparently now I feel compelled to stuff as much of it as possible into my suitcases!

If you think of me in the next couple of days please say a little prayer for safe travels and a smooth transition back to life in Haiti. Pray for my family as they transition too.

Three weeks to go

There are only three weeks until I leave for Haiti. Please pray...

• for quality time with my family in the next 3 weeks
• for a smooth transition for the teacher taking over my position in Mishawaka
• that I will not distance myself emotionally from my family and friends as a defense mechanism
• that God will prepare me for the changes I will encounter once I get to Haiti (some staff and ministry changes have occurred in the 5 months I've been away)
• for my loved ones to experience the peace and joy only God can give as we say goodbye for now
• that the Lord will be glorified in everything

Where my heart is...

On Sunday I was able to be at my home church again. I don't think I'd been there in about 5 weeks. Two boys from the youth group actually sought me out to say they were happy I wasn't back in Haiti yet. They thought for sure that I had gone back without saying goodbye. Aren't they sweet?

I have really enjoyed traveling to other churches and sharing about what God is doing through Mountain Top Ministries in Haiti, but it was really refreshing to be with my church family again. I think I'll be able to worship with them for the next four Sundays. Then it will be time for me to return to Haiti and worship with my friends in Gramothe. Only four more Sundays in the States. That's both exciting and heart wrenching. Why can't Northern Indiana and Haiti be only 20 or 50 or even 100 miles apart? That would make my life much easier.

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited to be going back. YES!! I'm thrilled that I will be with Arold in just 25 days. I can't wait to see my students and talk about school, their families, and what's happening in their lives. Being involved in the life changing ministry of MTM, through the clinic and the school and church, is something I love about being in Haiti.

But in some ways the next 25 days in the U.S. are the hardest because the excitement about going back is tempered with heart ache over leaving. My entire family lives here. They celebrate birthdays and holidays together. They hang out and eat at each others' houses. They get to do life together, and I'm in a different country getting glimpses of it through Facebook and e-mail. Two of my best friends just had babies. I can't cuddle with them from Haiti. I can't just stop by and get my baby fix. I won't be around as they grow and change. I can't celebrate milestones in their lives, and I likely won't even know when some of those milestones happen. Living in Haiti doesn't allow me to be intimately involved in my loved one's lives.

I fully recognize that this is the choice I've made, and I am confident beyond a shadow of a doubt that God wants me in Haiti. I have the peace that only God can give about moving to a country plagued by poverty, civil unrest, and diseases like cholera. I know that once I'm in Haiti again I will be excited to be there, but saying goodbye (even when it's just for a few months--I will be back in June) is hard and I wish I didn't have to do it. I hate thinking "Is this the last time I'm going to see this person before I go?" because it makes me want to cry every. single. time.

Maybe I'm a little hormonal today and my emotions are getting the best of me.

Or maybe life is messy and saying goodbye to the people you love is always hard, no matter how confident you are that where you're going is where God wants you.

Student Writing: Parents

Here's another writing sample from one of my older students. She wrote about her family and how much she loves her parents. I think she did a fabulous job.

A Little Taste of Home

I really like being in Haiti, but I miss a lot of things about the United States. Recently the arrival of some small treasures brought joy to my heart.

 

 First there were the FOUR bags (two of which are Costco sized and were shared immediately) of Dove chocolates that some lovely friends brought me.

 Then there was the arrival of my treasured hymnal. I wanted to bring it with me after Christmas, but my suitcases were too heavy. My parents brought it too me a week ago, so I spent one night this week singing all my favorite songs.

The best treasure of all was this note my mom left me on my refrigerator when she and my dad left.

a picture is worth a thousand words, right?

Look Out Point

More to come later. For now you just get this picture.

Familiar Faces

This weekend a medical team arrived at the guest house. They were delayed a couple of days due to the snow in the Midwest, but they finally arrived on Saturday afternoon. I am excited to welcome some familiar faces back to the guest house. It's especially sweet to have Beth Martin and Dr. Marcia on this team because they were both a part of the April 2010 team when I fell in love with Haiti and decided I should move here. I've already enjoyed the little time I've spent with them.

If that wasn't enough, my parents fly in on Thursday morning. They'll only be here a couple of days, but I am SUPER excited to show them my life in Haiti. And, of course, they'll get to meet Arold (ah-wol) while they're here.

What a week!

The past week has been a bit of a whirlwind. I arrived in Haiti late on January 5th. I attended a funeral the following morning, and then got to know the team a little bit that afternoon. January 7th and 8th I helped at the clinic. I spent those two days working in the dossier room with Arold and Nalouse, who pull or create the paperwork for all the patients who come to the clinic. Sunday I went to church (an amazing choir from another came to visit) and then went on a tour of Gramothe with the medical team.

Then on Monday school started again. I was so excited to see my students! However, before class I was the "translator" for the fluoride treatments being given to all the students. I went to each classroom, briefly explained what was going to happen, and then helped the team members who were applying the fluoride treatments. I was REALLY nervous about being the translator, but I was able to write something out ahead of time and have it checked by my Creole tutor. He made me read it to him a couple of times before I went to the classrooms, but then I was on my own. I think the students were impressed with my Creole. Two teachers told me I did a good job, and I thought the 7th grade class was going to clap for me!

My classes this week went really well. I had forgotten how little English the 8th grade students know. That had the potential to be a rough class, but they did a great job. I think it also helped that most of my classes were significantly smaller than normal.

Wednesday was a day of mourning for Haiti. Schools and businesses were closed. There were very few people on the streets in my neighborhood. However, most churches had special services to commemorate the one year anniversary of the earthquake. I was disappointed to find very few articles online about Haiti and the anniversary of the earthquake. What I did find didn't really say much. It's frustrating to talk about reconstruction and rebuilding of lives. On one hand there are still piles and piles of rubble that haven't been touched. There are thousands of people still living in tents. But there are also stories of hope and redemption to be heard. There are people who are changing lives and sharing the love of Jesus with others, but their stories are rarely told. Instead the media focuses on the rubble, the tents, cholera, and the election riots.

I spent most of Wednesday hanging out with Arold. In the evening I went to the guest house to spend time with the medical team. They had their debriefing meeting, and they let me sit in on it. I enjoyed hearing what they had to say about the week they spent in the clinic. About 10 of them were here last year during the earthquake, so it was interesting to hear what they had to say about being here a year later.

Thursday was my first "normal" day in Haiti since I've been back. I said goodbye to the team in the morning, and then walked up the mountain to school. It felt so good (and a little like torture) to walk up the mountain again. It had been at least three weeks since I'd made the walk up. I taught my high school class, and then canceled my after school class with the kids from Laboule because my head was pounding. Instead I walked home with them and then spent the evening relaxing.

Today I spent the whole day at the guest house. First I worked on lesson plans for my classes for the next couple of weeks. Then I created a Word document for something Willem wants to do. I also attempted to hook up a new printer, but I failed at that task. We didn't have all the cables we needed, so I couldn't get it to work.

It's been good to be back in Haiti. I really enjoyed being in the States with my family and friends over the holidays, but I'm thankful I'm in Haiti again. I feel like I was made for this specific job. I don't know how my skills and talents could be used any better than they right now. This is where I belong.

Alphabet Soup

Here's an alphabetical look at 2010.

A is for Arold, the man who captured my heart this fall. (And that's all I'm going to say about that online.)

B is for the significant budget cuts to education funding in Indiana. Budget cuts that made it possible for me to take a year off and go to Haiti.

C is for Creole, the language I'm learning in Haiti.

D is for Dax, my English Setter who thinks he's a lap dog.

E is for the encouragement of my small group to follow God even if it meant moving away from them.

F is for fabulous friends who find ways to stay connected even though we live in different countries. (Can you say Facebook?)

G is for Gramothe, the village where I teach English.

H is for hiking up the mountain road and even the super steep short cut.

I is for the incredible legacy my grandfather left with us when he passed away in March.

J is for a job I love. I enjoyed my job as a public school teacher in Indiana, but I love teaching in Haiti.

K is for all the kids I've loved this year. First there were my 8th grade students at John Young and the teens at church. It was hard to let them go, but now there are my students in Gramothe and the children from Laboule Children's Home.

lam veritab

L is for lam veritab, my new favorite vegetable.

M is for Mountain Top Ministries, the organization I've been working with since September.

N is for the new normal: bucket baths, inconsistent electricity, a corrupt government, hurricanes, and a cholera outbreak.

 O is for the overflowing goodness in my life during 2010.

P is for God's provision for all my needs. He never fails to provide what I need when I need it.

Q is for all the questions I ask. I ask a lot of questions. Maybe later this month I'll make a post with a list of all the questions I ask in a single day.

R is for reading really good books. The Hunger Games series, Code Talker, The Wing and the Wall, The Sea of Trolls, and some others I can't remember the titles of right now.

S is for St. Mark Missionary Church, who have blessed me beyond my wild imagination this year.

T is for the various teams that volunteer with Mountain Top Ministries throughout the year. They are primarily medical and construction teams, but we get people with a wide variety of skills who do anything from install new gates to bake cookies for the kids.

ugly chicken with super long legs

U is for ugly chickens that live at my house. 

V is for the vital role of my ministry partners. Their prayers, financial donations, words of encouragement, and care packages are changing lives in Haiti.

W is for the human trafficking workshop I attended at OSU in January. Such an eye opening day.

X is for the extraordinary experiences that have unfolded in my life this year. God plans for me was infinitely better than anything I had planned for 2010.

Y is for the yearbook, a crazy project I spent many hours completing at the beginning of the year.

Z is for zero regrets about 2010.

I am excited about 2011 and the adventures that it holds! 

Happy New Year!

Travel Day, 2nd Half

My flight out of Miami was scheduled to leave at 7:20 pm. Around the time we should have started boarding the plane, someone came on the intercom to explain that we were in "decision time" and they would let us know when a decision had been made. Twenty minutes later we were told our flight was delayed for an hour.

Around 8pm we boarded the plane. As soon as everyone was settled, the pilot announced that we were still not cleared to fly into Chicago. He was optimistic, though, and wanted us in our seats ready to go so we could take off as soon as Chicago gave us the all clear signal. I had woken up at 5am and didn't have anyone sitting next to me on the plane. I decided a nap was in order. At 9pm I was startled awake by the pilot's second announcement: Our flight had officially been delayed another 55 minutes due to nasty weather in Chicago. I borrowed a cell phone to call my mom (who was already at Portage) to say I was still in Miami. She went to my brother's apartment to hang out for a little while, and I went back to sleep.

Finally a few minutes before 10pm, our plane started taxing down the runway. I was back to sleep before we reached our maximum cruising altitude. However, my nap didn't last long. About 20 minutes in the air, I heard what sounded like a child's scream. I was groggy and assumed someone's child was being unruly. However, the second time I heard the scream it was followed by a mother's call for help. Her teenage daughter was having a seizure. Two medical professionals jumped out of their seats and came to the girl's aid. The entire plan was silent and watching. After the seizure ended and the girl became coherent again, it was clear she was going to be okay. I was afraid they would turn the plane around and go back to Miami, but we kept on toward Chicago. Eventually sleep overcame me and I was able to sleep almost the entire way to Chicago. 

When we reached Chicago a few minutes past 1am, we had to wait a few minutes on the tarmac. First we waited for the tunnel to be connected to the plane. Then the girl who had the seizure had to get off the plane with the paramedics, but they let her walk herself off. I saw her later at the baggage area and she looked perfectly fine. I'm fairly certain her sister said she'd had seizures before, so I don't think it was new experience for their family. I still felt bad for them though.

Eventually I found my bag, and just as I was getting ready to ask a stranger to use a cellphone I spotted my mom. We loaded up the car and headed for Indiana. After a slight detour to get me something to eat and a missed exit for the Skyway, we arrived safely in Middlebury just before 5am on Tuesday morning. It was a very long day of travel, but I made it safely and that's what is important.

Travel Day

I wrote this during my layover in Miami. The last leg of my travel day stretched out longer than I anticipated, but I'll have to share that story after I get some sleep!
 
Today has been… odd. I woke up before my alarm went off with a stomach ache. Waking up before the alarm rings really isn’t that unusual for me, but the stomach ache part was new. After my brain started functioning I realized today was the day I was leaving Haiti to spend the holidays with my family. Then the stomach ache made sense.

I haven’t mentioned it to very many people, but I’m pretty nervous about going home for Christmas. I’ve only been out of the US for three and half months. In the grand scheme of things, that really isn’t that long. Yet, I feel like much of my life has changed in those months. I’ve been anxious about how those changes will affect my relationships with my loved ones. First there’s the fear that I won’t be able to find the words to explain what’s happened in my life and heart. But mostly I guess I’m nervous that the people who know me the best suddenly won’t understand me anymore. And I don’t know how I’ll cope if that happens.

Possibly the strangest, and most significant, sighting of the day was on the way to the airport. Beth drove me to the airport this morning, and we traveled roads we take every time we go to Petionville or Delma. There’s a park near the police station that has been a tent city for the past 11 months, and I always gawk as we drive past. Today, however, there were sections where the tents, the people, everything was missing. Entire sections of the tent city have disappeared. We had a moment of celebration in the car. The absence of even some of the tents is a triumph for the nation of Haiti. I’m excited to see how many more tents are gone when I return in 2.5 weeks.

Beyond my stomach ache this morning and the missing tents in Petionville, there have been several other interesting incidents. First, I ate a hamburger for breakfast. It makes me chuckle even now because I’m sure the lady who served me thought I was crazy. But the airport shop in Port au Prince was crazy busy and I didn’t feel like struggling through the language issues to order something more breakfast appropriate. Also at the P.a.P. airport were the funny little conversations I had with the airport workers. Being able to speak a few words of Creole makes for some funny exchanges. One security guy waved me through the metal detector. I had left my passport holder on around my neck because I knew I could get away with not taking it off. He pointed at it and said, “Passport?” So I showed him the inside. Then he asked me in French if I spoke French. I said, “No.” But then he asked me a question not in English. I told him in Creole that he talks too fast, so he asked me my name in Creole. I answered him, and he told me to have a good day. I thought it was pretty entertaining.

In Miami I had a scheduled 7 hour layover, and I came to a strange realization: It’s really obnoxious to comprehend all the words being spoken around me. I’ve come to enjoy being oblivious to what others are saying, and I find it annoying to be subject to everyone else’s thoughts. For instance, I didn’t really need to know about all the different religious organizations working in Madagascar or the horse farm in Waco, Texas. I especially didn’t want to overhear the argument between mother and daughter about traveling to Europe. But there were some good parts to my layover. At one point a man behind me started speaking Creole on his phone. It was sweet music to my ears! I didn’t understand everything he said, but it was nice to hear some familiar sounds. Then there was the man who exited the bathroom with a good 3 feet of toilet paper hanging off his shoe. How does that even happen? If I see t.p. on the floor, I avoid stepping on it. And then there are the babies. I love babies. The Miami airport has been full of babies today. I wish I could pick them up and cuddle them, but I think going to jail for attempted kidnapping would put a damper on Christmas. So I just smiled and waved.

I’m hoping that the oddness ends there. I don’t really want to experience more weirdness on my final flight or the drive home from O’Hare. But I suppose weird is a better theme for the day than frustration or patience or even boring.

Only God Knows

Every team that comes in is curious about my role here at MTM. They want to know what I do and where I live. When they find out I’m teaching English, they want to know how I get to school each morning (I walk or catch a ride with the teams that are here), if I’m learning Creole (I have a really good tutor and many others willing to help me practice), and how teaching here is different than teaching in the States (that’s a whole other blog post!). Inevitably, they also ask me how long I’m staying in Haiti. If Willem is around he tells them I am going to marry a Haitian man and stay for the rest of my life! I just laugh and tell him that I’d like to meet the guy. My standard answer is that I have committed to being here until July, and only God knows what will happen after that.

But this question of how long I will stay weighs heavy on my mind. I love working with the kids from Laboule. I hate to think about what it will be like to say goodbye to them. I also really like my high school students. The boys that are my escort home from school have become some of my favorite people here. They asked me last week why I didn’t want to be their teacher again next year. It hurt my heart to hear their question and I wanted to promise that I would be here again next year!

But I can’t make my students any promises because my heart also hurts when I think about my family, friends, home church, and dog in the United States. I miss them! Facebook and Skype have provided avenues to connect, but they’re not the same as being there. I can’t make library runs with Jen or attend impromptu game nights at the Shipes’ apartment. I can’t go shopping with my mom or call my dad to fix something at my house.

I guess what it boils down to is this: Only God knows what the future holds. So instead of being distracted by questions of where I’ll be a year from now, I am choosing to rest in the knowledge that God will let me in on the plan when I need to know. Until then, I need to spend my energy on the here and now—loving and investing in the people God has put in my life.