Sunday, November 7, 2010

Only God Knows

Every team that comes in is curious about my role here at MTM. They want to know what I do and where I live. When they find out I’m teaching English, they want to know how I get to school each morning (I walk or catch a ride with the teams that are here), if I’m learning Creole (I have a really good tutor and many others willing to help me practice), and how teaching here is different than teaching in the States (that’s a whole other blog post!). Inevitably, they also ask me how long I’m staying in Haiti. If Willem is around he tells them I am going to marry a Haitian man and stay for the rest of my life! I just laugh and tell him that I’d like to meet the guy. My standard answer is that I have committed to being here until July, and only God knows what will happen after that.

But this question of how long I will stay weighs heavy on my mind. I love working with the kids from Laboule. I hate to think about what it will be like to say goodbye to them. I also really like my high school students. The boys that are my escort home from school have become some of my favorite people here. They asked me last week why I didn’t want to be their teacher again next year. It hurt my heart to hear their question and I wanted to promise that I would be here again next year!

But I can’t make my students any promises because my heart also hurts when I think about my family, friends, home church, and dog in the United States. I miss them! Facebook and Skype have provided avenues to connect, but they’re not the same as being there. I can’t make library runs with Jen or attend impromptu game nights at the Shipes’ apartment. I can’t go shopping with my mom or call my dad to fix something at my house.

I guess what it boils down to is this: Only God knows what the future holds. So instead of being distracted by questions of where I’ll be a year from now, I am choosing to rest in the knowledge that God will let me in on the plan when I need to know. Until then, I need to spend my energy on the here and now—loving and investing in the people God has put in my life.


  1. I miss being "home" too. I'm happy here, but there are definite things about the people and routines in SB that I long for. What's cool is that we have this opportunity to remove ourselves from our normal lives, in order to appreciate and value more of what we take for granted everyday in our regular lives. Not many people are afforded that opportunity, and not many people take the chance when offered!

  2. Such good perspective, Brit. It's hard not to be "responsible" and plan way ahead into your future when God has only shown you a little bit of the calendar. I'm proud of you and your obedience!

  3. I am right there with you, my friend. In our last term, it really sunk in how much I was giving up my friends. Not their friendship, necessarily, but just having that every-day type of connection with them. Just realizing that I am no longer the person they're going to call when they have a bad day or just need to chat, etc... So we go it a bit at a time, re-evaluating if we are where we're supposed to be. I guess for us that's every 3 1/2 years... but if God made it clear to us that we were supposed to leave mid-term, we'd do it!

  4. Thanks, ladies. I appreciate your words of encouragement. :)