Sunday, June 28, 2009

Singled Out

I recently attended the wedding of some dear friends. The ceremony beautifully reflected the couple, and the reception was just the right mix of tradition and fresh ideas. One of the unique aspects of the reception was the food. The wedding was a morning event, and so the foods they chose to serve at the reception were breakfast items. (It was delicious!) On the other hand,  the traditional features of the reception included the bouquet toss. It was at that point I excused myself to the ladies' room.

I hate the bouquet toss.

I avoid it at all costs.

Even Especially when someone is calling my name, trying to get me to join in the "fun".

When I returned from hiding in using the  ladies' room, my friend Jake felt the need to explore my reasons for avoiding this very traditional part of weddings. I tried to excuse his question by saying I just don't care for the tradition. Unfortunately, he's known me for a long time and didn't buy my bogus answer. He wanted to know why I don't like to participate. Since I value transparency in others, I bit the bullet and told him my reason: it makes me feel singled out. When I was 20 being single was the rule, not the exception. It was a fun tradition back then. Now that I'm 27, it's not fun to stand among a (sometimes very small) group of teenagers and spinsters in front of friends and strangers alike just to hope I catch the bride's bouquet. And I also told him, I just don't like it. Even though he wasn't satisfied with my answer, he let the conversation go.

What I wish I could have verbalized to Jake is that my problem with the bouquet toss is more complicated than that. Ultimately I don't like the bouquet toss because it singles me. But I might be able to handle just being different. What really bothers me is that the bouquet toss singles me out for something I want desperately to change. I want to get married. I want to fall in love. I want to spend the rest of my life with my soul mate. And when I stand in front of a crowd of people for this particular societal tradition, I feel I'm advertising that at 27 I'm still single. But on top of that, I have to admit to myself that I'm still waiting for God to grant the greatest desire of my heart.

No comments:

Post a Comment