Heavy

It's not uncommon for me to bring my work home with me. I often grade papers, create lessons, and work on school stuff from the comforts of my own home. But I also bring my work home with me emotionally. I care deeply about my students. They work their way into my heart, and I can't help but empathize with them. Tonight my heart is heavy with the poor choices of a young man who is looking for acceptance in all the wrong places.

Inspiration!

I know it's a day set aside for celebrating the birth of Jesus, but I think I'm also going to be celebrating the opening of Sherlock Holmes on Christmas Day. To be fully prepared for the movie, I've been reading about the exploits of the world's most famous detective. My dear friend Jen even lent me her copy of "The Complete Sherlock Holmes," which ought to keep me busy for a little while since it includes four full-length novels and all 56 short stories!

Today I decided that allowing my students to see the movie without reading a Holmes and Watson story would be a crime. My plan is to designate the week before Christmas break as Sherlock Holmes week. In a moment of pure genius I decided that I'll also re-create one of Holmes and Watson's adventures in my classroom! I can't wait to see how this plays out.

S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G

From a sweet, mostly innocent young lady, "Miss Smith, how do you spell bomb?"

From across the room I answer her, "B-O-M-B"

"Oh. I spelled it wrong. I spelled it b-o-o-b."

5 minutes of hysterical laughter from the most mature teacher ever.

Distorted view of Beauty

"Evolution of Beauty" by Dove

Hair in 2009

February 2009
Loved that haircut










April 2009
Still okay










July 2009
Shorter than it's been in years









August 2009
Super Cute Back to School Haircut









October 2009
Something so hideous I'd rather look like this

No Joke

I'm with Tim on this one.

Ready for the Weekend

You know it's not your best day when you hear yourself say to a group of young, tender hearts, "I really don't care. It's the truth. I. Don't. Care."

Another Jesus Whoopin'

I have no husband. I have no boyfriend. I have very few single guy friends, and none of them are husband material (for me that is). I don't even have any single coworkers to flirt with. My life is a prime example of what being single means. I'm fairly certain my picture is next to the definition of "single" in Webster's Dictionary.

For a while I was okay with that. I really was content knowing that someday I would meet Mr. Right. Honest, I was content with singleness. I trusted God with my future.

However, that contentment has dissipated. Entirely. I don't want to be single anymore. I'm sick of being alone. I'm tired of answering the question, "Why aren't you married?" What I want is to meet someone special and fall in love. I long to get married and have babies and live happily ever after.

So I pray and pray and pray. I pray that God would lead me to Mr. Right. I pray for the Good Lord to make me into the woman my future husband needs. I pray for the meeting of my husband to come someday soon. I fervently bring my request before the Lord.

But nothing has happened. No dates. No phone calls. Not even any flirting. There's not a glimmer of hope on the horizon. It has become increasingly difficult to trust that God has my best interest in mind. I've been waiting my entire adult life for this and God hasn't given me my life's partner. Faith that God will provide a godly husband is quickly fading.

Enter Pastor John and his sermon this morning. The title of the message based in James chapter 1 was "Speed Bumps of Life: When Our Faith is Stretched." He explained that God tests our faith through a variety of means with the goal of growth. His last point was that God often tests our faith through delays in answer to prayer, at which point the Holy Spirit whispers, "Sound familiar, Britney?" Pastor John continued to say the Lord doesn't always give us the answer to our prayers immediately because he wants our faith in Him to grow. Waiting on the Lord causes us to make a decision: will we continue to trust that he is Lord living by faith or will we try to take control?

Pastor John pointed us back to some people who waited a looooonnnnnnggggg time for the answer to their prayers: the Israelites who wandered the desert before going into the promised land. Their faith was tested in numerous ways during those years. In Deuteronomy 8:2 God explains that he tested his people for FORTY years "in order to know what was in (their) heart(s), whether or not (they) would keep his commands." I am no different than the Israelites. God tests my heart to see if I have faith in him and if I will follow his commands.

So today I am returning to living by faith in this trial of delay. I will learn to wait patiently on the Lord and allow him to stretch my faith that I may develop perserverance and lack nothing in character.

Because more than a husband, I want to please the Lord.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

James 1:2-4

"Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands."
Deuteronomy 8:2

Counting My Blessings: My Students

Can I just say I love my students this year? Because I do. They are a great group of kids. After April and May of last year I didn't know if I could handle teaching much longer. However, this group of students has been refreshing. They are sweet and kind. They are eager to help each other and me. They are a breath of fresh air after the punks I dealt with last year. I would adopt any one of them if I could. I just love them!

Not Doing Good, Part 1

I've been trying to ignore something for months because it's sad. More than sad, really. It's heartbreaking and horrific and completely unfathomable in my neat and tidy life. I've been ignoring it because it doesn't affect me. It's not part of my life.

And so over the past 9 months to a year, I have actively found ways to avoid the issue of human trafficking--specifically the area of sexual exploitation. I have refused to read Sold by Patricia McCormick because of the content, even though the book comes highly recommended. I've avoided thinking too much about blog entries like this one because I might have to admit that people actually live that nightmare day in and day out. My theory has been if I don't think about it, I can pretend it doesn't exist.

However, that hasn't worked out so well for me. God has been persistent in tugging on my heart strings. First there was the song When the Saints by Sara Groves. It's a fabulous song, but those two lines "I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor, I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door" convicted me every time every time I heard the song. Then there was the movie Slumdog Millionaire. God used it to get me thinking back in March. During the summer I came across blog entries like this one about a community in Thailand.

Early this summer I finally became willing to acknowlege the problem (what a gross understatement!) of sexual exploitation. While I would like to ignore the issue, I know for the women and children who are victims of the sex slave trade it's not an option to just ignore it. They have to deal with the nastiness and horrors of sexual exploitation every single day.

Now that I've acknowledged the problem, the next step is doing something about it. I've spent the majority of the summer doing nothing. And that my friends is going to change.

"Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn't do it, sins."
James 4:17