confessions of a maladjusted former missionary

It's been a while since I've written anything here. Mostly that's because I have a hard time keeping up with being a mom, a wife, and a full-time public school teacher. But, another major factor in neglecting writing is that I've had a hard time adjusting to life in the States. For most of the past 8 months, and probably longer than that, I've been cocooning myself from the world. I suppose my philosophy was that if I drew into myself and ignored the world, I could avoid some of the pain of leaving Haiti. I've become a master at avoiding interactions with people that might lead to meaningful conversations. The only thing cocooning myself did, though, was isolate me during a time when I desperately needed to be surrounded by people who love and support me. Change is hard no matter what, but this particular change was extreme. We left our jobs, our first home as a married couple, Arold's family, our friends and coworkers, our church, the ministry to Haitian students we loved so much... Everything about our lives changed in one fell swoop.

Logically, I know we made the decision to follow God's leading and move the United States. Irrationally, I felt like God did this to (instead of for or with) us. In the beginning I was hurt and angry, feeling like God had sent us to the US and forgotten about us. When I'm being reasonable, I can see that God is still using us--maybe not in the way we'd like, but working through us nonetheless--and that he has a purpose for our time here. Arold is taking Bible classes, we are learning about various models of ministry, and we are working on becoming financially independent. Knowing that our time here is preparing us for future ministry is the balm to my hurting heart.

Living in the States has been good. We stayed with my parents for the first seven months before moving into an apartment of our own. They adored having Isaac there every day to tickle and cuddle and keep out of the dog food. It was a true blessing to live with them while we transitioned to life here. We enjoy the stability and conveniences of living in a developed nation. And, I personally am thankful for hot showers every single day.

But as good as it is to have access to the conveniences of the modern world at my fingertips, I'm still learning to reconcile the desires of my heart with the reality of today.

Giving Up Your LIfe

Last week Pastor John preached on parts of Luke 9. You know the part of the Bible where Jesus says,  “No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.” Then we sang a song (below) in church today that talks about being the hands and feet of Jesus. There's a line that says, "I wanna give my life away, all for your kingdom's sake."

I want that. I can't tell you how much I want that. But I also feel a lot like the rich young ruler lately. I want to follow Jesus, but it's hard to leave behind the life I have here. 

When I get on that plane to Haiti in three weeks, I'll be leaving behind

• watching Big Bang Theory with my dad
• hot showers any time I want
• Christmas with my family (I start crying every time I think about this. I have a plan for skyping with them that day, but it tears my heart out that I won't be there with them.)
• spur of the moment movie nights with friends
• going shopping with my mom whenever she comes to Mishawaka
• seeing my mom graduate from Bethel in May
• being able to communicate with nearly everyone I meet
• the many extended family get-togethers the Myers family has
• holding my best friends' babies as we talk about life
• giving and receiving hugs from the people I love
• understanding everything my students say to me 
• watching funny TV shows with my friends

Don't get me wrong, I want to return to Haiti. I'm looking forward to it. I know that God wants me to be in Haiti, and I'm excited to get back there. It's just not as easy to say goodbye to life here as I wish it was. 

Tragedy

One of my students was missing from 2nd block this morning. After class I got an email that said her mother, father, and infant sister were killed in a tragic car accident this weekend. Apparently a truck crossed the center line and hit their car head on. The gas tanks on both vehicles exploded; the driver of the truck survived, but my student's family did not. I do not know if my student was in the car or not. but I'm certain the emotional pain far outweighs any physical injuries she could have.

My heart is heavy for this young girl this morning. Please join me in lifting her up in prayer.

UPDATE: Her mother, step-father, 1 year old brother, and grandmother were killed in the car crash. She was at a friend's house. She has not returned to school, and we don't expect to see her for another week or so. It sounds like she has a good support system of extended family, but please keep praying for this precious girl.

In no particular order...

I miss Haiti.

I miss Arold.

I miss walking up the mountain to school.

I miss Haitian bread.

I miss walking down the mountain with my students.

I miss hugs from Nerlande.

I miss singing Creole songs at church.

I miss students in uniforms.

I miss seeing cute babies in the clinic.

I miss talks with Beth on our way to the city.

I miss hearing people speak in Creole.

I miss rice and beans.

I miss Haiti.

Rough Week

I expected this week to be emotionally difficult. There was the last day of school, saying goodbye to my students, packing up my apartment, and inevitably counting down the days until I leave. However, none of those things were on my mind this week.

Instead of being emotionally distraught, I found myself sicker than I've been in a very, very long time. Monday after school I felt achy and my throat hurt. I thought I was probably getting sick. I'll spare you all the details, but here's the gist of it. I had a fever. I started having diarrhea. I laid in bed all day and didn't eat because I didn't want more diarrhea. I scared Willem, Johane, and Arold because I was weak and sick. They made me move to Johane's extra bedroom so someone could watch me all night. They forced me to eat. I went to the doctor the next day. I had to take a stool sample to the lab and also get a blood test and a urine test. Now, I'm taking my meds and starting to feel better.

It appears that I have two different issues... some type of gastrointestinal parasite and an infection of some sort (hence the red, sore throat). I'm taking an antibiotic for the throat/infection thing, and I have this drug called Tinidral that I love. It made my stomach stop churning. I would like to carry some in my pocket for a good long time "just in case." The all Spanish packaging says it treats things like (don't click these links if you have a weak stomach; you won't get the disease, but you'll probably want to puke) trichinosis, giardia, intestinal amoebiasis, vaginitis, colon infections, and general gynecological infections. So any problem I may have below the waist should be taken care of.

It was a really rough week, but God blessed me with just the right support system. Arold came to visit every day, taking such good care of me. I wasn't very thankful while he was forcing me to eat crackers, but I'm so grateful he wasn't phased by my avoidance tactics. Johane allowed me to stay in her extra bedroom, contaminating her house with my at that point unidentified germs. She drove me to the doctor, and the next day she took me into the city for my lab tests. Willem was thinking ahead and had an "evacuate Britney" plan ready to go if I needed to get back to the States. He also went and scoured the clinic for the medicines I needed.

Even though it's been a rough week, I'm really thankful. I can't tell you how devoted and sweet Arold was with me this week. That man surpasses all my hopes for a husband. He is a true gift from God. Johane and Willem checked on me often and coordinated my trips to the doctor and lab. They continue to check in with me, even though I'm not so sick anymore. My church family was praying for me, and several of them sent encouraging words to me.

I am a teacher, not a nurse

Here are some of my job responsibilities:

• teaching English in grades 7-12
• after school computer class
• after school Laboule English class
• taking pictures
• helping in the clinic
• refilling prescriptions when the clinic is not open (mostly tums, tylenol, and high blood pressure meds)
• helping Johane with administrative projects

My title is "English teacher". That's pretty self-explanatory. I'm a team player, so I don't mind helping people with their responsibilities. I even enjoy it most of the time. (The jobs I don't like require filing the dossiers back into their respective boxes. I generally put them in numerical order and hand them off to Nalouse.) However, there are these jobs that are occasionally thrust upon me that I just can't handle.

Need an example? Good. I've got two from this week. First, one of our neighbor kids had a prescription for Amoxicillian and ibuprofen. Johane asked me to get the meds from the clinic on Monday when I went to school. Not a problem. I'm a team player, remember? I like to help. So, I go to the clinic. Before I even step foot in the pharmacy (which is seriously one step from the door to the outside), an elementary kid is there saying, "Britney, mwen malad." This kid is notorious for attention seeking behavior, so I didn't believe that he was sick. However, before I could shoo him away, he took off his shoe and then his sock. Just my luck the kid has a nasty big toe injury that I can't ignore. Gross.

Anytime one of the high school students gets hurt, they send someone to find me. It doesn't matter where I am, they expect me to have supplies and the willingness to bandage them up. I think the fact that I'm white makes these kids think I am medically trained. I understand that 90% of the white people they meet are working in the clinic, but I am not medically trained! AND I DON'T LIKE NASTY WOUNDS THAT ARE LEAKING BODY FLUIDS. Don't they know the principal's office has a first aid kit?

The second example doesn't involve any body fluids. Thankfully! After I cleaned and bandaged the nasty toe, I started looking for the two medications I needed in the pharmacy. While I was there three students and the librarian came to ask me for medicine. Three of them were very easy: tums and/or tylenol. The fourth boy, Wilson, was extremely ill. He had a fever and was shaking so much I was afraid he was going to fall over. I immediately made him sit down and I gave him some ibuprofen to help with the fever. It wasn't clear whether he was vomiting or had diarrhea, and I couldn't think of anything else to do for him. I told him to drink a lot of water and that he should go home and sleep. I also told him he could take more pills in 4 hours.

Later I realized that we had some rehydration packets in the pharmacy, so I sent some home with one of his friends who promised to deliver them. I was really worried about Wilson. He was clearly very sick, and I don't think his family would be able to take him to the hospital/doctor if he got worse. This morning, Arold texted me as soon as he got to school to say that Wilson was there and completely fine. Thank you Jesus!

The moral of this blog post is you should really ask more questions about your job responsibilities. And when I say "ask more questions" I mean you should probably ask, "Will I be responsible for cleaning and treating open wounds?"

Pendulum-like Emotions

Today I received some disheartening news in an e-mail about some problems with my house in Mishawaka. I don't know that "disheartening" is a strong enough word, though. I'm really, really frustrated. There's very little that I can do from Haiti, and the problems seeming to be growing exponentially rather than decreasing. I wanted to throw something I was so mad. And then I wanted to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. Because if there is one thing I don't want to do, it's use wedding money for house repairs.

In my frustration and despair, I wrote a quick e-mail to some friends at church. I asked them to pray for this situation because I totally need a new attitude and my house needs to be fixed.  I also asked them if they knew of anyone in the congregation who might be willing to help.

One of the ladies has already responded to my plea for help. She started with, "First of all....I'm hugging you tight even tho you can't feel it.  :-)" She always knows how to make me feel loved. I can't wait to see her again and get a real hug! She mentioned some possible leads for people who may be able to help at my house, and then she had this to say:

Finally, take a deep breath...do not allow satan to discourage you and pull your focus from what the Lord has called you to do.  In times like this I have found it helpful to speak (aloud) truth to myself... reciting scripture, recalling God's faithfulness in past experiences (my own and others), sing songs of praise.  All these things help me to shift my focus from my problem to God and His power over all.  It can be a real battle but these things help me.    

And with those words my heart is feeling much better. Hopeful in fact.

Thank you, Jesus, for giving me friends who know and trust you. For people who remind me that YOU are in control and that I can put my trust in you. Thank you for this opportunity to watch you do what you do best: solve life's problems in ways that only you can do. I know that whatever happens, it won't be because of anything I can do or orchestrate. You are the one who's in control and you will have all the glory. 

Big Stuff UPDATE

On Monday night there were some pretty heavy rains in Port au Prince. Massive flooding. Mudslides. Deaths. It was a horrible night. And last night there was more rain, compounding the problems.

Our shindig with the President that was slated for today has been postponed. He's busy picking up the pieces of the storm. While we're disappointed we won't be able to meet him today, we're happy to have a president who is already active in the communities he serves.

And we're also thankful we have homes, not tents, to sleep in.

What no one tells you about living in another country

I try to keep things light and cheery over here on my slice of the internet, but I opted to share these particular thoughts because I think I think they provide more of a full picture. I am not unhappy in Haiti. I do not desire to move back to the United States. I just need to share some things that don't often get said.

• Living in another culture is hard. All the things you rarely think about in your own culture--greeting people, acceptable attire for public, knowing who to tip, smiling for pictures--suddenly require conscious thought. You have to remember new customs, force yourself through the uncomfortableness, and evaluate personal behaviors and habits that may need to change in order to fit into the new culture. There are constant reminders that you are an outsider. Eventually the novelty and excitement of being in a foreign country wear off. 

• If you don't speak the language of the people, there will be times you will feel inadequate, overly dependent on others, extremely frustrated, and sometimes ridiculous. You may decide to go without something rather than deal with the hassle it takes to communicate what you want. Sometimes it's just easier that way. There will even be nights you cry yourself to sleep because of the language barrier.

• Once you've called more than one place "home," your heart will never be completely happy in either. When you're in one place, you miss the other. You feel guilty for not being full hhere, for longing for the other place. People in both locations question your desire to live in or visit the other place.

E-mails

Even though I've been in Haiti for 8+ months and I've been teaching computer basics to kids who have never seen a computer before, I sometimes still forget that they really don't know anything about computers.

Take today for instance. The internet was working in Gramothe and the kids have been asking when I'll help them get an email address. I decided today was the day. All 14 of the laptops were booted up, and the projector set up so they could see what I was talking about. Everything was grand...until Internet Explorer was open before them. Then all chaos broke loose!

"Miss Smith! I need you!"
"Britney! My computer is broken."
"I need help!"
"Miss Smith, did you forget me?"
"Miss Smith, come here please."
"Britney. Look."

I thought I was going to strangle them! I finally got them all to www.yahoo.fr where they can set up an e-mail account in French. Then it was an even more intense round of everyone needing my help right this instant. They needed to enter their name, birthday, and country of residence before creating an e-mail address. I thought it was pretty self explanatory. I mean, the screen says "Name" or the French equivalent depending on the computer, but apparently my students lost all ability to read--in any language. Finally everyone got that part taken care of, so we were ready to move on to choosing an e-mail address and password. Oh. My. Word. It was a real life nightmare.

"Miss Smith! I need you!"
"Britney! My computer is broken."
"I need help!"
"Miss Smith, did you forget me?"
"Miss Smith, come here please."
"Britney. Look."
"Miss Smith! I need you!"
"Britney! My computer is broken."
"I need help!"
"Miss Smith, did you forget me?"
"Miss Smith, come here please."
"Britney. Look."
"Miss Smith! I need you!"
"Britney! My computer is broken."
"I need help!"
"Miss Smith, did you forget me?"
"Miss Smith, come here please."
"Britney. Look."
"Miss Smith! I need you!"
"Britney! My computer is broken."
"I need help!"
"Miss Smith, did you forget me?"
"Miss Smith, come here please."
"Britney. Look."

Did I mention it was hot today? I get cranky when I'm hot. I also get a little cranky when the kids yell my name while I'm talking to someone else to tell me they need help, especially when I've already told someone else they need to wait.

It's a miracle that all those students made it out of that room alive today. I think it's appropriate to thank the Lord for his protection of the computer class today. And you should probably pray for the teacher too. She's gonna need some serious patience when she teaches them to log into the e-mail account and actually send an e-mail.

Technology

I love technology.

I appreciate the ease technology brings to my life.

I enjoy technology and it's entertainment possibilities.



Yet, I also loathe technology.

Funeral Procession

This month has been a difficult one for Gramothe. There have been at least 3 deaths, if not four. (I’m still a little certain if the uncle Micka told me about is the husband of the woman I was talking to later.) All of the people who have passed away were older and had health complications that come from old age. (None of them had cholera, just for the record. We haven’t had any cases of cholera in Gramothe.) The most recent funeral was on Tuesday, and I happened to be going to class when the funeral procession passed by the high school on their way to the cemetery.

This is the Gramothe cemetery.

I know this isn’t going to sound right, but it was really neat to experience the funeral procession. Before I could even see the procession, I could hear them singing a song. It was very loud and caught my attention. I saw some boys carrying the wreaths and flowers down from the village, so I stepped off to the side where some of my high school students were sitting. As the procession got closer I could see that some men were carrying the casket with the family and friends following behind. The song they were singing was very beautiful; I wish I knew it. As the procession got closer, I realized they were going to walk right past where I was standing. I felt bad that there were so many students gawking as the mourners made their way to the cemetery, but the students were very respectful. As bad as it sounds, it was an incredible experience to stand in the midst of the people as they sang their mourning song. There weren’t more than 35 or 40 people, but their voices were so loud and beautiful. I was a little mesmerized by the whole thing.

After the procession passed by, I slowly made my way to my classroom where I could see the people walking single file down the trail to the cemetery. They were still singing. I’m not certain what they did when they got there, other than put the casket in the tomb. They were not there very long. I had to prepare for my class, though, so I did not get to watch what happened.

What a week!

The past week has been a bit of a whirlwind. I arrived in Haiti late on January 5th. I attended a funeral the following morning, and then got to know the team a little bit that afternoon. January 7th and 8th I helped at the clinic. I spent those two days working in the dossier room with Arold and Nalouse, who pull or create the paperwork for all the patients who come to the clinic. Sunday I went to church (an amazing choir from another came to visit) and then went on a tour of Gramothe with the medical team.

Then on Monday school started again. I was so excited to see my students! However, before class I was the "translator" for the fluoride treatments being given to all the students. I went to each classroom, briefly explained what was going to happen, and then helped the team members who were applying the fluoride treatments. I was REALLY nervous about being the translator, but I was able to write something out ahead of time and have it checked by my Creole tutor. He made me read it to him a couple of times before I went to the classrooms, but then I was on my own. I think the students were impressed with my Creole. Two teachers told me I did a good job, and I thought the 7th grade class was going to clap for me!

My classes this week went really well. I had forgotten how little English the 8th grade students know. That had the potential to be a rough class, but they did a great job. I think it also helped that most of my classes were significantly smaller than normal.

Wednesday was a day of mourning for Haiti. Schools and businesses were closed. There were very few people on the streets in my neighborhood. However, most churches had special services to commemorate the one year anniversary of the earthquake. I was disappointed to find very few articles online about Haiti and the anniversary of the earthquake. What I did find didn't really say much. It's frustrating to talk about reconstruction and rebuilding of lives. On one hand there are still piles and piles of rubble that haven't been touched. There are thousands of people still living in tents. But there are also stories of hope and redemption to be heard. There are people who are changing lives and sharing the love of Jesus with others, but their stories are rarely told. Instead the media focuses on the rubble, the tents, cholera, and the election riots.

I spent most of Wednesday hanging out with Arold. In the evening I went to the guest house to spend time with the medical team. They had their debriefing meeting, and they let me sit in on it. I enjoyed hearing what they had to say about the week they spent in the clinic. About 10 of them were here last year during the earthquake, so it was interesting to hear what they had to say about being here a year later.

Thursday was my first "normal" day in Haiti since I've been back. I said goodbye to the team in the morning, and then walked up the mountain to school. It felt so good (and a little like torture) to walk up the mountain again. It had been at least three weeks since I'd made the walk up. I taught my high school class, and then canceled my after school class with the kids from Laboule because my head was pounding. Instead I walked home with them and then spent the evening relaxing.

Today I spent the whole day at the guest house. First I worked on lesson plans for my classes for the next couple of weeks. Then I created a Word document for something Willem wants to do. I also attempted to hook up a new printer, but I failed at that task. We didn't have all the cables we needed, so I couldn't get it to work.

It's been good to be back in Haiti. I really enjoyed being in the States with my family and friends over the holidays, but I'm thankful I'm in Haiti again. I feel like I was made for this specific job. I don't know how my skills and talents could be used any better than they right now. This is where I belong.

Alphabet Soup

Here's an alphabetical look at 2010.

A is for Arold, the man who captured my heart this fall. (And that's all I'm going to say about that online.)

B is for the significant budget cuts to education funding in Indiana. Budget cuts that made it possible for me to take a year off and go to Haiti.

C is for Creole, the language I'm learning in Haiti.

D is for Dax, my English Setter who thinks he's a lap dog.

E is for the encouragement of my small group to follow God even if it meant moving away from them.

F is for fabulous friends who find ways to stay connected even though we live in different countries. (Can you say Facebook?)

G is for Gramothe, the village where I teach English.

H is for hiking up the mountain road and even the super steep short cut.

I is for the incredible legacy my grandfather left with us when he passed away in March.

J is for a job I love. I enjoyed my job as a public school teacher in Indiana, but I love teaching in Haiti.

K is for all the kids I've loved this year. First there were my 8th grade students at John Young and the teens at church. It was hard to let them go, but now there are my students in Gramothe and the children from Laboule Children's Home.

lam veritab

L is for lam veritab, my new favorite vegetable.

M is for Mountain Top Ministries, the organization I've been working with since September.

N is for the new normal: bucket baths, inconsistent electricity, a corrupt government, hurricanes, and a cholera outbreak.

 O is for the overflowing goodness in my life during 2010.

P is for God's provision for all my needs. He never fails to provide what I need when I need it.

Q is for all the questions I ask. I ask a lot of questions. Maybe later this month I'll make a post with a list of all the questions I ask in a single day.

R is for reading really good books. The Hunger Games series, Code Talker, The Wing and the Wall, The Sea of Trolls, and some others I can't remember the titles of right now.

S is for St. Mark Missionary Church, who have blessed me beyond my wild imagination this year.

T is for the various teams that volunteer with Mountain Top Ministries throughout the year. They are primarily medical and construction teams, but we get people with a wide variety of skills who do anything from install new gates to bake cookies for the kids.

ugly chicken with super long legs

U is for ugly chickens that live at my house. 

V is for the vital role of my ministry partners. Their prayers, financial donations, words of encouragement, and care packages are changing lives in Haiti.

W is for the human trafficking workshop I attended at OSU in January. Such an eye opening day.

X is for the extraordinary experiences that have unfolded in my life this year. God plans for me was infinitely better than anything I had planned for 2010.

Y is for the yearbook, a crazy project I spent many hours completing at the beginning of the year.

Z is for zero regrets about 2010.

I am excited about 2011 and the adventures that it holds! 

Happy New Year!

Conflicted

I love being here in Indiana. I am enjoying the time with my family, the snuggle time with Dax the dog, and the yummy food. I forgot how much I liked American food! More than that, I've felt overwhelmingly blessed by my church family. They welcomed me so warmly with hugs and hellos; it was like I had never left. They even have gifts for me to take back to my students in Haiti. And I'm really looking forward to reconnecting with so many friends over the next week.

But even with all these sweet blessings, I miss Haiti. My little friend Rosias was baptized yesterday after church, and I'm really bummed that I wasn't there for it. Later this week is January 1st. It's one of the most celebrated holidays in Haiti--it's both New Year's Day and their independence day. I'm sad I'll miss that celebration too. I miss the kids from Laboule and my computer class. Even though I haven't mentioned it to the internet world before, I've met someone special in Haiti. I miss him. A lot.

I'm having a hard time reconciling these conflicting emotions. I want to be able to enjoy my parents and friends without feeling like I'm missing out on what's going on in Haiti. And I want to be able to connect with my Haitian friends and students without the guilt of feeling like I abandoned my loved ones in Indiana.

What I really want is to be able to call both places home, and enjoy the time I have in each place, without feeling guilty.

Two Reasons...

...to pray for Haiti
...to be thankful you live in the good ole U.S. of A.
...to count your blessings

1. Coming down the mountain after church we passed 6 men carrying a cane wrapped couch with a very sick man lying on it. After inquiring about their journey, we learned the man had been sick for 3 days and is from the neighboring village of Grenier. We emptied the truck bed of its passengers and gave them a ride to the nearest cholera treatement center. The men told us there were three other people in Grenier who are sick. For those of you who have been here, Grenier is the village to the right of Gramothe when you are looking at the mountain from the guest house. Because of the proximity, we have quite a few students in the Gramothe school from Grenier.
2. Also, the riots have been calmer the past couple of days, but the streets are sure to heat up again tomorrow if the government doesn't give the people what they want (basically fair [meaning different] election results or Sweet Mickey to be in the run-off election in Jan.). School  hasn't been canceled for tomorrow, but the students were told at church today to stay home if there's trouble. The trouble is far from over, and there's no way to predict what will happen.

Please keep praying for Haiti.

And please know that I am not in danger here. I am not fearful for my safety or my health. God has given me peace and a burden for the people of Haiti. I want more than anything to see Haitians turn to the only One who can true and lasting peace. I ask that you join me in praying that during this difficult time more Haitians will come to know the Lord as the great Healer--of bodies, hearts, and nations.

This Just In

Four cases of cholera have been reported in the village of Bonga. MTM has ministry friends who minister in that area that will be distributing a simple bucket-water filter system there on Monday to 50 families. Our concern: Bonga is geographically close to the Gramothe/Thomassin areas & MTM has students from Bonga. 

Please, please, please pray with us for this situation as we continue to monitor it closely.

The Hard Part

I really enjoy being here in Haiti. The missionaries I am working with are fantastic, and I love my students. I am looking forward to skipping winter weather, and it's awfully nice to have so many people falling over themselves just say hello to me. It makes me feel a little like a rock star.

As much as I love being here, though, there are aspects of the culture that are difficult to deal with. This morning I was a bit overwhelmed by some of them. Awhile ago I began reading a book called Restavec by Jean Robert Cadet. It's a memoir written by a man who was a part of Haiti's socially accepted child slavery. While I haven't seen any evidence of child slavery in the two months I've lived here, last night I was talking to some friends about it. They told me stories about families in mountain villages who send their children to live with relatives or someone they (kind of) know in the city. The family is often told the child will receive an education, be well fed, and be generally taken care of. However when the families go to visit their children or to pick them up, they learn that the child has been forced into slavery. Sometimes the child has been sold or given to someone else and the parents can't find them. It's really very sad because it's a socially accepted part of the culture (at least for the wealthy who are using the kids as slaves).

My friends also explained to me that if a woman has a child from a previous relationship and marries another man, the child is treated as a slave to the rest of the family. For example, there's a woman in Gramothe who had a daughter. Her husband died, and she wanted to become involved with another man. She knew that her daughter would be treated like a slave to the man and any kids she had with him, so she made the tough choice to give her daughter up for adoption. My heart broke for her and the daughter she doesn't have to hold any more.

And then there's the whole corporal punishment issue. Corporal punishment is definitely alive and well in Haiti. Teachers have switches or belts they carry around with them. The principal frequently has a switch in his hand. Sometimes the students are made to kneel on the cement for periods of time as a punishment. I don't think anyone in Haiti has ever heard of positive reinforcement! It's no wonder my students are constantly telling me they like the way I teach. I don't use any of the classroom management techniques they are accustomed to!

I don't share this information with you to make you think poorly of Haitians or their culture. Not every Haitian approves of child slavery, just as not every American condones drug use. The Haitian culture is not bad or wrong. It just has issues like every other culture in the world. I share this information simply to give you a glimpse into what's on my heart. I also don't want to give the rose tinted view of life here. While I like being here, there are parts that are difficult.

Redemption

If there's a quality of God's character that I like most, it's probably the fact that he's unchanging. He's the same yesterday, today, and forever. In my world that's ever changing, I cling to the One who remains constant. But my second favorite aspect of the Lord and his relationship with us is the concept of redemption.


Being in Haiti these past few weeks has given me a fresh look at redemptive work of Jesus. I've heard about former voodoo priests who are now following Christ. I've witnessed the redemption of a marriage. And I've been blessed to see how God is now redeeming a family unit some 19 years after a whole lot of ugly messed things up. Seeing God redeem the lives of those around me reminds me of my own redemption story.

When I surrendered my life to Jesus, he could have taken the parts of my life that were noxious and thrown them away. Instead he did something much more meaningful. Jesus took the darkness and all that was ugly, and he redeemed every part of me. He took that ugliness and made it something beautiful and good. Something that blesses others and points them to the great Redeemer.

Oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!

from the song Jesus Paid It All

Red Thread Challenge

Some of you may remember that The Red Thread Promise (TRTP) purchased the curriculum I'm using at Laboule Children's Home. They are an organization that works to change the lives of "the least of these." I am hoping to meet the director this fall when she comes to Haiti to distribute some all-terrain wheelchairs.

Yin Xi has spina bifida and needs surgery.

Tonight the director of TRTP, Kathy, told me about a little boy in China they are trying to help. Yesterday, at just two weeks old, he was taken to an orphanage TRTP sponsors. He has spina bifida and needs a life changing operation. Kathy, the director of Red Thread, is hopeful they can raise $5,000 to have his surgery in two weeks. If you are interested in learning more about this precious little boy and how you can help, please read the post on their website.