Counting My Blessings: Sara

Tonight I got to hang out with my roommate and her fiance. It was nice to share life together. Jesus, thank you for friends to share life with.

Counting My Blessings: Amy L.

Every single time Amy sees me, she gives me a hug. And it's not the "I gave everyone else a hug so I'll hug you too" deal. She finds me to give me hugs. I don't know what I ever did to find myself in this girl's favor, but I thank God for her. On more than one occassion she has been the bright spot in my day. Thank you, Jesus, for the opportunity to be loved by Amy. May you bless her richly for the way she so willingly shares your love with others.

Trust

Tonight I saw one of my favorite students from last year. The kid has a severe case of ADHD--emphasis on the H--and was bouncing around the bleachers. I attempted to gain his attention when he came near me, but he was moving too fast to hear. A little while later his former girlfriend (another freshman) came to me and said that he was drunk. I sought him out, and unfortunately confirmed that she was correct.

It breaks my heart that at 14 he came to a school event intoxicated. He has so much potential, and I really want to see him succeed. Neither of his parents graduated from high school, but he wants something better for himself. He talked last year about his future and what he planned to do after graduating. He even talked about the hard work necessary to make graduation a reality. My heart breaks that he's making choices already that lead him away from his goals.

As I left the game, my heart cried out to the Lord. I pled with God to get a hold of his heart. I asked him to send someone to intervene in this kid's life. I prayed for wisdom for his father. I beseeched God to break the ties with the "friends" he was with before coming to the game. I implored the Lord to open his eyes to his mistakes and keep him from becoming bitter in the face of the consequences to his poor choices.

It doesn't seem like God is working in this young man's life. It doesn't seem like God is in control when one of my kids is throwing his life away. But as I stood in my backyard looking up at the stars, God reminded me that He is bigger than peer pressure, disease, and even child exploitation.

As I stood looking at the stars, I remembered that God knows each star's name. How much more does he know his children? The Holy Spirit reminded me that what I saw tonight was a very small slice of the physical world. I have no idea what else is going on in this boy's life, and I certainly can't see what's happening in the spiritual realm.

Tonight when things look bleak and I want to question God's ability to do his job, I choose to trust that he is in control and can do immeasurably more than I can ever ask or imagine in the life of this young boy.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8, 9

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 

Proverbs 3:5

Counting My Blessings: Class of 2012

Tonight I saw some of my former students at the football game. Many of them came up to me to say hi or chat. I love the huge smiles that cover their faces when they see me. It makes me feel so good to know they are happy to see me. I also really appreciate their hugs and the stories they tell. I'm thankful the impact I had on them has not been lost. Thanks, Jesus, for giving me a ministry among teenagers.

Counting My Blessings: Alexandra Jean G.

Cathy gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl this morning. Alexandra Jean G. graced the world at 2:27 am at a whopping 8 lbs 8 oz. three full days before her due date. I visited the Gillen family at the hospital tonight and got to chat with Cathy, coo over X's chubby cheeked dimple, and laugh at Jim's telling of the delivery. Tonight I praise God for new life and the blessing Alexandra brings to her parents.

Be Still My Soul

For almost four years I have been involved in a small group that meets on Sunday nights. These dear friends have walked with me through some very difficult times and celebrated with me in the joyous moments of life. They have challenged me to grow deeper in my faith and supported me in the times I couldn't do life alone.

Around the same time I joined small group, I started volunteering with the youth group. I have a desire to see all people take their next step toward Jesus, but teenagers hold a special place in my heart. I have loved getting to know the teens and watching them grow and mature over the last four years. Last summer the youth pastors at my church made the decision to change the format of the high school youth ministry. Instead of meeting together on Wednesday night, they started meeting on Sunday nights. Even though it was a fantastic change for the youth, I was devastated because small group and youth group were now on the same night. I toyed with the idea of finding a different small group or plugging into a different youth ministry (like Young Life), but I didn't like either idea. Eventually Seth and Adam made my decision for me. They told me about an opportunity to meet with a small group of teens on Wednesday nights. I was relieved that I wouldn't have to leave "my kids" at St. Mark. And by facilitating a small group on Wednesday nights, I was still able to be a part of my own small group on Sundays.

As great as it was to still be involved with the teens on Wednesday nights, I didn't get to see very many of them. Because of that I didn't feel very connected to the youth this past year. It's hard to maintain a ministry when I don't feel connected, so this summer I made a very difficult decision. I decided that I would leave my wonderful, faithful small group in order to serve the youth on Sunday nights. It was a really hard decision to make because my small group has become my core group of friends, and there are many of them that I only see at small group. When I made the decision to dedicate Sunday nights to the student ministry, I knew I would have to trust God to lead me to another small group. Some days it's easier to do that than others.

This morning I was really struggling with trusting God to provide another small group. I spoke with the guy in charge of small groups, and things don't look promising from my perspective right now. As the service started I was racking my brain and looking at the congregation trying to figure out who could possibly be in my new small group. I almost started crying because the situation seems so bleak: I don't know of anyone who is roughly my age and is not in a small group already. Then the Lord broke through my fear and calmed the storm inside me through the hymn we were singing:

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
leave to your God to order and provide;
in every change God faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
to guide the future, as in ages past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
the Christ who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
sorrow for forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Echoes resound in my heart

Donald Miller's closing prayer on day one of the Democratic National Convention. Read more here.

Father God,

This week, as the world looks on, help the leaders in this room create a civil dialogue about our future.
We need you, God, as individuals and also as a nation.
We need you to protect us from our enemies, but also from ourselves, because we are easily tempted toward apathy.
Give us a passion to advance opportunities for the least of these, for widows and orphans, for single moms and children whose fathers have left.
Give us the eyes to see them, and the ears to hear them, and hands willing to serve them.
Help us serve people, not just causes. And stand up to specific injustices rather than vague notions.
Give those in this room who have power, along with those who will meet next week, the courage to work together to finally provide health care to those who don’t have any, and a living wage so families can thrive rather than struggle.

Help us figure out how to pay teachers what they deserve and give children an equal opportunity to get a college education.
Help us figure out the balance between economic opportunity and corporate gluttony.
We have tried to solve these problems ourselves but they are still there. We need your help.

Father, will you restore our moral standing in the world?
A lot of people don’t like us, but that’s because they don’t know the heart of the average American.
Will you give us favor and forgiveness, along with our allies around the world?
Help us be an example of humility and strength once again.

Lastly, father, unify us.
Even in our diversity help us see how much we have in common.
And unify us not just in our ideas and in our sentiments — but in our actions, as we look around and figure out something we can do to help create an America even greater than the one we have come to cherish.

God we know that you are good.
Thank you for blessing us in so many ways as Americans.

I make these requests in the name of your son, Jesus, who gave his own life against the forces of injustice.
Let Him be our example.
Amen.

Adoption

For as long as I can remember I have imagined myself (and the husband I am still waiting for) adopting children. In high school I planned to adopt because I was convinced I was infertile--I even marked verses in the Bible about barren women. (Seriously weird, I know. A doctor never told me I wouldn't be able to have children. I don't have any medical conditions. My reproductive system has always been very regular. One day I apparently just decided that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant.) In college my aspirations to adopt expanded into adopting four children, each from a different continent. I spent hours imagining the beautiful family portraits that would grace the walls of my home, the quick retorts I would whip at people who made rude comments about my family, and the fun to be had learning about the different cultures represented by my children. Toward the end of college the realization that marriage was not in my foreseeable future put the desire to adopt on a back burner. However, in the past few months the desire to become the forever family for orphaned children has been stirred. My heart aches to pour love on children who have been left to face to world alone. My mind calculates budgets, rearranges furniture, evaluates lifestyle changes, and entertains "what ifs" by the dozens. My crafty little fingers even find adoption webpages. I hear radio commercials for adoption and foster care agencies and my very being screams, "Pick me! Pick me, Lord! I'll love them. I'll care for them. I want them."

All of that to say adoption has been on my heart lately, and I can't help but believe God has put it there for a reason. May I be as willing to go where God leads as Kirk and Heidi Weimer.

Continue in Him

"And now, dear children, continue in him, so that when he appears we may be confident and unashamed before him at his coming."
1 John 2:28

What does it mean to "continue in him"? Does it mean to continue loving deeply, to continue pursuing him, to pray as he prayed? Does it mean more Bible study, more involvement in ministry, more prayer? Does it mean doing more than I am now? Does it mean doing anything?

Maybe to "continue in him" means to surrender my life daily, hourly even, into the hands of the one who gives life. Maybe continuing in him means allowing my mind to be transformed into the mind of Christ and giving up my ways for God's. Maybe it means asking the Holy Spirit to guide me through each moment of the day.

Maybe the key to continuing in him is identifying the parts of my life that bring me shame and cause me to be less than confident in his presence and then repenting.

Hope: the belief that a positive outcome lies ahead

About a month ago at small group, my good friend Jake posed the question “How do you give someone hope?” That same week, one of my students shared with me the heartbreaking reality of her life. Her parents were freshmen in high school when they found out they were pregnant with her. Both of them dropped out of school. They had three children before they were 20. My student’s father has been in and out of jail for as long as she can remember. She suspects her mother is using drugs. It broke my heart to hear her talk so casually about the fighting, threats, and manipulation that she has to deal with on a daily basis at home. That day she came to me overwhelmed, hurting, and without hope.

I wanted desperately to give her hope, but I couldn't. Who am I say Have hope. Good things are coming? Her parents may never get their acts together, and life as an adult may not be pleasant for her either. I don’t know what her future holds. I can’t promise her that life will get better. I can’t promise anyone that life on earth will be what they want it to be.

And therein lies the problem. Having hope in earthly things will always lead to disappointment. We live in a fallen world where people make poor decisions and the future is unknown. Life will never be perfect here. However, there is something to look forward to. God sent his son Jesus Christ to redeem us from our sins, so that we could be with him. One day he will return, and those who have believed in him will live eternally in heaven. That’s the better life worth hoping for!

I may not be able to give hope to my hurting student, but I can point her to One worth hoping in. The One who gives us the hope of eternal life (Titus 1:2) and a life worth living here on earth (John 10:10).

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him."
Psalm 62:5

"...we wait for the blessed hope--the glorious appearing of our Great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, and are eager to do what is good."
Titus 1:13-14