Monday, June 25, 2012

Hoping for a Miracle (When I'm not crying my eyes out)

Sometimes I feel like my posts need a disclaimer. This is one of those. I hesitate to share this post because I'm feeling  very raw emotionally. I don't' want to offend my ministry partners or give them a reason to doubt my emotional stability or ability to minister in Haiti. However, missionaries are real people with real emotions and life is just as messy for missionaries as it is for Christians on the home front. With that said, here's where I am today.

My favorite Bible verse is Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all peace and joy as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

I like it because it applies to nearly all situations--happy, sad, frustrating, confusing, etc. I also like this verse because I really like hope. It's such a comforting and uplifting thing to have in your heart and life. (By the way, what noun category would you put hope in? Is it an attribute, characteristic, emotion, feeling? I don't think it's any of those, but I don't know what to call it other than thing.) I also like that the reward for trusting in God is not getting what you want, but something far better peace and joy. But not just some peace and joy. ALL peace and joy. So even if God answers my prayers with no, not now, wait, or some other generally undesirable response, I can still have ALL peace and joy when I trust in him. And then! I will overflow with hope.

Have you ever met somebody overflowing with hope? I find those people refreshing and contagious. I want the same hope they have.

But, today I am definitely not one of  those people. I'm certainly not overflowing with hope. Mostly I'm overflowing with tears of frustration. I'm in the stressed out, worrying camp. Actually, it seems I've put up a tent and staked it down there. I might start building a permanent residence in the worry camp if I don't get a handle on these deceiving emotions.

We need renters for my house in Mishawaka. I was so confident in May that God would provide what we needed. I was hopeful then. Today is June 25th and all the people initially talking to us have lost interest, which I suppose explains why I definitely feel more desperate than hopeful.

BUT we asked our prayer partners to pray with us for 15 days about this issue. It's only day 10 of our two weeks of prayer. Please consider joining us in prayer for the next 5 days that someone will rent the house in Mishawaka.

1 comment:

  1. Loving you! Also, remember the lovely hormones coursing through your body when you burst into tears! : ) I was a wreck a couple of weeks ago too, worrying about everything, and yours is a much bigger deal than my worries were. My husband and mom kept telling me to give myself a little grace. So I pass that advice onto you AND I am joining in the prayers! I'm excited to see you soon!