Control

It's fitting that when I played my "Britty's Bad Day" playlist on shuffle this evening the first song to play was I Surrender All. You see, today I learned that two of my former students, who are very dear to my heart, were busted for having pot at school. It breaks my heart that these boys have chosen this path for themselves after we discussed so many times what it would take for them to graduate. I know they haven't seen anyone in their immediate families take a different path. Neither of their parents graduated from high school. No one at home really expects them to graduate. Sure, the deck is stacked against them, but they have so much potential. I want desperately for both of them to know Jesus and experience his life changing love. It hurts my heart that their lives are filled with darkness when they could be living in the light of Christ.

All afternoon I've been upset by this news that they are making poor choices. It's so very frustrating to see the direction their lives are heading, but the most upsetting part is knowing there is nothing I can do. Nothing. I don't have a relationship with these boys anymore, so I don't have the opportunity to speak truth into their lives. I don't see them when I'm walking my dog or buying groceries. I don't even have any of their younger siblings in my class. There is literally no avenue for me to impact their lives. It's almost more than I can take because, dang it, I want to be in control. Because in my yearning to be the one in charge I delude myself into thinking if I were in control, these two boys would be making better decisions.

Thankfully God knows my delusions are unhealthy, and he's willing to remind me through whatever means available (iTunes playlists for example) that surrender is the best option.

Because really he's got it under control.

Paul says he "is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"

Ephesians 3:20

"God brings death and God brings life, brings down to the grave and raises up. God brings poverty and God brings wealth; he lowers, he also lifts up. He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, Restoring dignity and respect to their lives—a place in the sun!" 

1 Samuel 2:6-8